Thursday, October 11, 2018

Reflection.
Now that’s something I haven’t done in a while.
To reflect on your own actions.
To reflect on the person you have become.


I see the guy in the mirror;
And all this while..
I believe it's the same guy looking back.
The same guy from those years gone by.
Supposedly wiser.
Supposedly mature.


It dawned on me recently.
That it's never the same guy looking back.
It’s just me; believing that is the same guy looking back.
The same cheerful, free spirited guy; with passion in abundance.
I know that guy is still in there somewhere.
Waiting for his time to show the world.
To show the world that I have not changed.
To show that I have learnt from my mistakes.


However, I have not learned from my mistakes.
I still make it.
Imperfect.


Back then;
I looked at those guys making the same mistakes,
The mistakes I find myself doing so right now.
I laughed at them deep down.
I judged them.
I passed comments that why would you do such a thing?
Wake up.
I felt I wanted to tell them to wake up.
To tell them what they should be doing instead.
To realize that they can be better.


But here I am.
Years on from passing judgement;
Without realizing that I am one of them.
Just another guy.
Just another guy in this world.
Making the same mistakes as they did.
I conformed to the standards.
I was;
Maybe I am;
Turning to one of them.
One of them that hurt other people.


Yes; I know.
Deep down I know.
I am not like them.
I can still turn this around.
I truly wish and hope to believe that there is time to turn it around.
Those who know me will say; you are not like them.
We know who you are.
To these people.
Thank you.


But as I reflect back.
I realized that I am one of them.
An asshole.
I am one of those guys who have had my fair share in hurting others.
Turning into that asshole; the very same that back then, I passed judgement on.


Karma, huh?

Never thought I would be one of them.