Saturday, February 21, 2015

My Robin Sparkles.

In life, there is nothing like listening to your own advice from another person’s mouth.
Its not that you don’t know about it, but it is reassuring to know that another person thinks the same way.
Its comforting.
To know that you are not the only one who thinks about it that way.
Most importantly, it is reassuring.
Because only then you would know that advice is not a complete mistake.
Because there are many times where you would have done what you think what is right and things might not have turned out that way.
What way? That right way, right result that you so dearly sought out for.
Its not a matter of a lack of confidence but more of a matter of having a bit too much of it.

This is written as I think of the words that my brother, a brother from another mother, said to me.
However, there is an important advice in there that I would have missed if I acted accordingly on my own.

You know, 90% of these is evasion, almost everything she says is trying to evade, so its time to move on brother. 2 years and a half in waiting is long enough. Everyone in life seeks for that positive reassurance, that positive support in live. People get together as a couple not because they are lonely, rather, there is a need to share the burdens in life with another, to be one another’s pillar of support. To be... That positive reassurance. Always knowing, when there is something going on in your life, there is someone to share that with. No matter joy or sorrow. There is someone there to share it with. 

But remember, also be that other person’s pillar of support. A relationship is not about one person doing his or her best trying to make it happen. The compromise is never one way. If it is, that is the wrong way you are going down. It is about compromising and being one another’s pillar of support.

Being each other’s positive reassurance that is there for sorrow or joy may come.

Yeah, of course I knew this.
I knew that all this while that evasion have been present.
The evasion that denied me the chance to be her pillar of support, as she was not prepared to be mine.
I always thought, if I did not have closure I could not move on. 
Closure was what I needed in order to move on.
However, this bit of advice was one that I did not think of.

In life, if every relationship was ended the right way with the closure, then there would never be a chance down the road to reignite it. Thus, not everything in life must be closed off. Some doors we should just keep open as we do not know what may come from it in the future. Even if it was 90% evasion. There was always a chance. There is still that 10%.

This was the part that I missed out.
I may have worded it differently, but that was always the point.
Moving on.
Was never about closure.
That was what my naive heart never figured out.
And now I knew.
In life, it is not always about closure but somehow its about learning to move on.
Learning to look pass it.
And accept.
That maybe she is not meant for you.
Accept. It. 

I always thought of her as my Robin Sparkles.
It was the same story line, two and a half years invested.
With hope in the heart, that it was gonna be.
Just the difference between her and Robin was that Robin was always around.
She was not.
The messages are lukewarm I said when people asked.
Who am I kidding?
I knew it was not.
My attempt to catch the robin of my heart was fading.
She was flying away.
The closer I got. The further she flew away.

With that, I must accept.
That my robin was destined to flew up above without me.
But who knows, maybe in the future I too would be up there flying with her.
But for now.
I need to accept that fact.
I need to let my Robin fly.

(Yeah I know its been long since I posted anything, but I feel blogging is a fad that has passed, but I love writing, and will try to update more often. Will try to keep the sad and sappy parts moderated. Cheerios.)

Thursday, September 22, 2011


i did something bad... seriously... and am really trying to get over and forget... the only thing i can do is repent. n vow to never do it again.

this is like gonna be an emo post... coz im frickin emo...

its just so serabutttt... my head... my mind... my soul... wth is happening... i guess its my moment of weakness all over again... damn it farid. get over this. you r stronger than this.

i know i am... but it does not make me feel any better... instead... way worst... im just totally serabuted lah... i just want someone to talk to...

ive been taking and making the wrong decisions... make it worst, there is a matter of the heart... which is the heart is a fickle thing... but im... alas.... im just down lah.

Friday, July 22, 2011


heads up!!!!

another blog update coming your way!!!...

aha.. me blogging twice in a week.. that's rare.. i think... if i am feeling up to it, i'll make this a double post delight for my friends and anyone else reading this..

so first up.. what's up??


so what's up with the goal u ask me??

well.. this past week till today has been an awesome experience for me, as a fanatic football fan..

no doubt, i am a die-hard liverpool fan.. that liverbird has been stuck in my heart for 13 years... that is about since 1998...

but hey!! i am not here to talk about liverpool fc.. (well i am.. just a lil bit maybe... but that is somewhere down the (scrolling button) page of this post..)

so lets get straight on to business...

i am here to talk about the Malaysia Football team.. and its improvements over the past few years... or decades...


haha.. i think i did that to, now what was that term, to denounce myself from any misinterpretations or well other wrong stuff... (time to hit the dictionary...)

anyhows.. over the past week or so..

i have had the personal hands-on chance to see the Malaysian team in action, for the first time ever at Bukit Jalil National Stadium, as well as seeing the mighty Reds playing in Malaysia for the first time..

so it was my first both ways lah.. I mean three ways…

seeing Malaysia play..

seeing Liverpool play..

and going to Bukit Jalil..

okay back to business…

from my own personal experience..

I am actually proud to see the progress made by the Malaysian players, team, staff, FAM and everyone else involved..

I knew players like Safee Sali, Norshahrul Idlan, and Safiq Rahim were good..

But nothing like seeing them in the flesh and seeing what they can do, to back all that up..

(I know, norshahrul didn’t play against the Reds, and was wee bit disappointing against the gooners, but he is one heck of a dribbler that I really have lotsa respect for..)

Apart from that.. I believe, Malaysia has a good crop of players for the foreseeable future..

I say this because, the performance by the Olympic squad against Chelsea today backs it up..

That fellow in the heart of defence… Subramaniam.. but my friend say we should call him Supermaniam, he is fantastic lah..

I know, Chelsea fans would say Chelsea did not play all out, the heat had got to them.. and so much more..

I admit to all those factors..

Because obviously, a team like Chelsea who boasts players like torres, drogba and anelka, should not just got a fortunate draw against a young Malaysia team..

So I admit it..

I am not implying that this is a huge achievement for the Malaysian team..

However trust me people..

I do believe.. IT’S A START… J

And oh yeah..

The Liverpool part eh…

I was in Bukit Jalil last Saturday.. witnessing Liverpool’s 6-3 victory over the Malaysian squad..

Was thoroughly impressed by both teams..

For the reds, I was impressed by this fellow down here..

Alberto Aquilani..

Man of the match in my opinion… fantastic to have him back in Liverpool..

However the highlight of my day was to sing You’ll Never Walk Alone at Bukit Jalil National Stadium..

It gave my goosebumps.. and I was really proud to sing that song..

Can’t wait to sing it in Anfield in the future..

Fingers crossed eh..

You’ll Never Walk Alone..

Just a snapshot of the stadium on that day.. ^^

and oh yeah..

P.S.S.S. typing up whatever to be blogged of on word before copy and pasting it here, is really a bad idea.. wonder how all the other people do it.. haha...


Wednesday, July 20, 2011


okay... hello again bloggersphere...
(honestly... i have come to this conclusion that... i am not a blogger.. but just apparently a guy who happens to have a blog and uses it satisfy my need to talk crap and see the what ifs in life... kinda pathetic...)

anyhows... to the matter on hand..

so anyone know what am i going to talk about today?? anyone?? anyone??

well.. i actually find the topic today quite amusing, interesting and worth to blab about..
so here goes..
drumroll please...


the escape button..
in daily life...
it helps us to exit programs...
terminate programs..
well nearly everything as its name implies escaping from something...

and taking this into perspective...
the what ifs in life might actually be better off with an escape button..
you know.. make a wrong decision and escape... decision never made... just remembered...
lesson learned...

but if life were to be that simple than colors of the heart and life might just vanish...
no point going on about it right...

back to business...
a friend said something interesting a while back..
with his permission..
i shall recite it back...

"hey bro... sup?"
"nothing much.. same old same old...u?"
"well... i have a story for you man... you know... i kinda am liking this person.."
"interesting.. please carry on"
"darn it bro... i don't go all mushy like this... but darn it.. why is this happening??"
"well you know bro.. when cupid strikes.. he strikes deep.."
"yeah i know... darn it.. i wish i could just escape from this feeling..."

(to be noted.. all the odd number representing the conversation is friend.. and repliying is me..)

this friend of mine is actually the inspiration for this post..
he made me wonder...
why there are not escape buttons in life...
because we know..
us humans are not strong enough to face certain things..
take love for example.. (hey bro.. i just thought of this.. nothing is aimed towards you..)
if we just suddenly start to like someone.. and imagine.


if the escape button were present...
would we not press it..
and escape and be safe and comfortable in our own life...

that is why... the escape button is not available in life..
we need to make our own mistakes..
and learn from it..
there is no easy way out..
or escape buttons..
or escaping like the escape button in the picture is trying to do.. XD

we have to learn to love and live life..
make mistakes and grow...

anyways.. just one more picture at the end... to wrap it all up..

on a different note...

i was myself thinking of the what ifs in life..
the worst part is thinking of you..
darn it..

but a friend of mine left this as food for thought...
and it is a food my thought and mind is chewing and eating up...

here goes...

"gua pon...
takda la mcm..."aku nak sangat dia ni aku nak sangatssssss2 dia ni jadi awek aku!"
takde la.mmg gua takde ar gitu
gua kawan je dgn dia.
nak kenal personal traits,trend,graph, operating conditions dia camne.
dgn niat suci di hati..gua tak harapkan apa2 special antara kami berdua
tu semua kerja Tuhan."

gotta pardon my translations here... but here goes..

"me too..
i mean i don't like want her to be my girldfriend or anything..
you know me.. i'm not like that bro...
i just want to be friends with her...
to know her personal traits, style, how she works..
with good intention in my heart.. i expect nothing to happen between the two of us...
that is all in God's hands.."

(its better than if i were to use google translate.. i dare someone.. try... and let me know)

i'm kinda surprised this came out from this friend of mine..
this have been a thought of mine for very long...
but he reminded me of it...
and i guess..
its all in God's hands...

Monday, June 20, 2011

of father's day, randomness, and subaru..

anyways.. rupenya dah lama aku x update blog...

well here we go again eh...
its been a fortnight since i updated my blog...
thought tonite i don't feel really chatty or anything...

i was thinking i did vow at one point in this blog to stop b
eing all mushy and stuff right..
(well i'm working on that... trust me)
i was thinking of creating another blog for my randomness...
seriously.. i am totally random just i dont post that many random posts..

why do i say i am totally random?
coz there are lotsa topics that i have been itching to blog bout but never do..
so i promise to be a better author, blogger, writer,
photographer, student.. and oh yeah son too.. hahaha


seeeeeee.... this one also became a totally random
post... as random as this pic..

found this 'subaru' at cheras while lepaking with dad for some good old roti canai and teh tarik.. :)